Feeling sad

18 Sep

Blech. I’ve now been drawn into the “shilling” discussions at Boardgamenews.

I started a few times to write a detailed rebuttal, but decided that it’s not worth the hassle. I am feeling pretty sad about it all, though. 

Once again, there seems to be a bunch of haters who can’t stand to see people being excited about  gaming projects. 

If I couldn’t write about Agricola or Le Havre, if I couldn’t mention That Gaming Site where I am an Admin, if I couldn’t mention That Gaming Site where I play games (because my town gets resources if you play there), if I couldn’t mention That Gaming-promoting Organisation I am a part of … wow, I’d have nothing to write about. I imagine someone will start complaining, soon, that I am writing about That Elitist Event I am Going To – you know, the one with two hundred thousand people attending, the one that I am spending thousands of dollars of my own money to attend – because I am excited about it.

I’ve been careful NOT to write much about the stuff I’ve been working on, precisely because I didn’t want this sort of bullshit – which is why  I even missed a few columns. Given that I’ve played at least twice as many games of Agricola as I have of anything else since my copy arrived at the start of last December, it would be impossible never to mention it.

Yes, I get excited about these things, yes, I talk about them. That’s the person I am. The real irony is that I checked with the site owner whether it was OK to talk about Le Havre before I posted my most recent column. And I’ve passed on other “scoops” that I felt were too close to home.

While there are a few noisy people complaining, my feeling is still that the general gaming public is interested in what goes on behind the scenes, and is hungry to know more.

I know I am.


I wonder whether it really is a clash of communication styles, more than anything else.

When something good or exciting happens to me, I want to share it with people, especially with the people I care about. Whoo hoo, I got a new haircut. Whoo hoo, I am working on a game that is going to be great. Whoo hoo, OMGESSEN!. Whoo hoo, X– no wait, you won’t catch me out that easily.

This has often been an issue for Fraser. Friends come over, I say, whoo hoo, look at my cute new PC, he gets upset and angry with me. Because he feels that I am being small-minded and petty, skiting/bragging/boasting about whatever it is, that I am saying “Look at me, I am better than you because I have X” — when actually, what I am saying is, “Please share my excitement, this is the cause of it this time.” And because of who I am, I tend to be excited about LOTS of things. I understand that he finds it stressful, so I try not to be excited about things around him.

I wonder whether the same thing is happening with these people. A couple of people (‘we’) write about projects we are excited about, not to mislead other people into thinking they are wonderful but because we are excited about them. And it’s OK if people look at that and say, “Well, I am not excited about that, it isn’t really interesting for me.” – but it’s wrong to suggest that it is dishonest to be excited in the first place or to share that excitement. 


Overreacting and ranting a bit because I am coming down with a cold. Fraser’s now on antibiotics and heading into his second week of being really sick. I leave in 15 days (it will be 14 in 12 minutes) and MUST BE HEALTHY. Yikes. I bought cold prevention tablets at the supermarket today, and am contemplating a trip to the doctor to beg them to do something, anything really.


Posted by on September 18, 2008 in games, rant


9 responses to “Feeling sad

  1. jon

    September 19, 2008 at 5:22 am

    A few years ago, I arrived in OMGESSEN with a stinking cold. I feared my whole week would be ruined, too sick to get out of bed. I went to the Ystra Restaurant and had a spicey Goulash soup and then a spicey paprika dinner and when I got up the next day… I was totally cured! When I flew home, I got off the plane at Manchester Airport, got my luggage, got down to the rail station, got on my train, got sat down and whollop! My stinking cold came straight back down.

    You will be fine. Your OMGexcitement will push your immune system way up and you will sail through.

  2. melissainau

    September 19, 2008 at 8:07 am

    OMG Jon, I hope so!

    I am mostly worried about the plane trip over. I caught a plane once before when I had a cold – it was no fun at all.

    I’m downing “Ease a cold” tablets (OMG can we spell placebo effect?) and contemplating a trip to the doctor before it gets any worse. Both girls are starting it too.

  3. RacingHippo

    September 19, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    I love it when you bounce in blogs, articles and especially in IMs. It’s contagious 🙂
    Be yourself. Bugger everyone else. If they can’t get a little lift from your bounciness, it’s hardly your fault that they’re miserable sods.

    In other news, I’ve had a bad music flashback: “Ease a cold, ease a cold… he’s Ebenezer cold”. Ugh.

  4. jon

    September 20, 2008 at 9:28 am

    Garlic. Onions. Fry onions, smotjer with garlic. Works for me. Keeps everything away.

  5. Scott

    September 23, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    I am sad that you are leaving BGN, but have now bookmarked this site.

    FWIW, I loved hearing about your adventures with Agricola and Le Havre. I know I mentioned I liked reading Valerie’s and Dale’s columns about Dominion. Not sure if I mentioned yours, but I was thinking about them.

    I hope when things become less stressful in your life, you reconsider and return to BGN.

  6. Scott

    September 23, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    Oops! Have a great time at Essen!

  7. John Mellby

    September 27, 2008 at 2:30 am

    I guess I’m oblivious because I hadn’t realized the clamor over ‘shilling’ had
    really gotten this bad. I, personally, have always appreciated everything you have
    said. If you like the games you were working on that was only natural, and that
    you talked about them was appreciated. And its not like you were trying to hide
    anything. Its not like that person that created a BGG account specifically to
    post complaints about the Power Grid China map ignoring Tibet.
    At least I’ll now watch your blog instead.
    Have fun in Essen, and if you ever get a chance come to BGGCon – I’d like to
    meet you in person.

    John Mellby

  8. anye

    September 30, 2008 at 4:04 am

    Illegimati non Carborundum.


  9. melissainau

    September 30, 2008 at 7:06 am

    Thanks Scott, John and Anye.

    And really, I leave for Europe in 2 days. There’s not a lot that can get me really down right now 🙂


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