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Cat poo

20 Dec

Yes. Cat poo. That is what has been causing conflict Chez Nous of late.

See, when we adopted two small, adorable kittens, we did not realise that they were in fact POO MACHINES disguised as small, adorable kittens.

Within a week of coming home, Snowflake had caused evacuations of the dining and living rooms* – and it continued. Despite the very expensive “Indoor cat, low fecal odour” kibble, there is something about our cats’ by-products (read: GOAL IN LIFE) that just carries.

(* turns out, this is a problem of open-plan living. The cat poo fumes just SPREAD. Even to my study which is around several corners.)

I made a schedule, to deal with the problem. It is very simple and looks like this:

VERY IMPORTANT CAT POO SCHEDULE

Monday: Biggie

Tuesday: Fraser

Wednesday: Fraser

Thursday: Fraser

Friday: Fraser

Saturday: Fraser

Sunday: Fraser

OK, maybe not quite like that. It really looks like this:

VERY IMPORTANT CAT POO SCHEDULE

Monday: Biggie

Tuesday: Fraser

Wednesday: Fraser

Thursday: Fraser

Friday: Melissa

Saturday: Melissa

Sunday: Melissa

and on the edge it has a teeny tiny very crafty-looking miniature wooden clothes peg, which shows on which day the kitty litter was last completely changed (ie discarded, tray disinfected and rinsed, then refilled). It is my attempt to make the functional cat poo schedule a thing of beauty.

Schedules are all very nice, in theory.

Except that I forgot to factor in my cats.

Here is what happens every morning:

7:30 Fraser leaves for work

7:45 Cats: WHEE! HE’S GONE! LET’S POO!

The exception to this is Monday mornings, which is Biggie’s rostered day.

7:30 Fraser leaves for work

7:45 Cats: WHEE! HE’S GONE! LET’S — OH WAIT, IT’S MONDAY. *cross legs*

8:00 Bigster leaves for school

8:01 Cats: OMG THANK GOODNESS I DID NOT THINK I COULD HOLD THAT IN ANY LONGER … UGH THAT’S DISGUSTING!

I usually get home from work around 4.

4:01 Cats: OMG I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU I COULD JUST POO! ACTUALLY, I THINK I WILL.

And then we have my favourite, the Evening Special.

7:30 Cats: YAY YAY YAY NEARLY TIME TO GO TO BED WITH OTTO BUT FIRST, WE HAD BETTER POO!

7:31 Melissa (as unbearable fumes threaten extinction to all in the living room and beyond): Yeesh. That’s disgusting

7:32 Melissa (pointedly): IT”S YOUR DAY TO CLEAN IT UP

7:32:30 Fraser (wearing the DUH! face): You can’t empty the kitty litter when it’s fresh! It would be too smelly!

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11 responses to “Cat poo

  1. Dennis

    December 20, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    Yup, that’s about right. Unfortunately My wife seems to have a poor sense of smell, so the roster tended to be Dennis, Dennis, Dennis ………. for about 19 years!
    Things to remember:-
    Cats won’t use a really dirty litter tray. And what they use as an alternative may appear random, but probably isn’t (i.e. your shoes or immediately outside the bedroom door first thing in the morning)

    Food tips (that you probably already know, but are worth repeating!):-
    Any milk that isn’t cat milk = chemical warfare (and isn’t good for the cat, especially kittens)
    Chocolate, alcohol and paracetamol = poison (seriously. do NOT give any of these to a cat or let them get near enough to try)

     
    • Melissa

      December 20, 2011 at 7:42 pm

      Agreed on the not using dirty litter trays. That’s one reason why I am so fussy about cleaning it. At one point, I went into Mexican Standoff mode and they “discovered” the bath.
      Not long after we got them, I noticed a stink in the study. Discovered that they had found the box of semi-shredded paper under my desk and thought it was the same as the OTHER box of paper by-product that they visit so regularly. Now I have no more “to be shredded” pile …
      Oh – and in fairness, Fraser DID do litter tray duty through two pregnancies.

       
  2. Dennis

    December 20, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    Are there photos of said kits?
    (I miss my cats!)

     
  3. jocelyn25

    December 21, 2011 at 1:31 am

    The question is, what kind of litter trays are you using? I have one with a top and there is no smell at all (well except right after she went in). In addition to that what kind of kibble is that that you are using. I have this one here: http://www.fressnapf.de/shop/cat-s-best-oekoplus works like a charm and she loves hiding her poo in there. Plus side: I can dispose of it in our normal toilet. Win WIn

     
    • Melissa

      December 21, 2011 at 9:51 am

      Our cats are so big, none of the enclosed trays really work. I have seen a rather lovely mod of some IKEA furniture which I am considering as a holiday project.
      We use a litter ( http://www.fibrecycle.com/ ) that is made from recycled paper, so we can just scoop and flush. And feel environmentally conscious at the same time. Added bonus: it is not poisonous if they eat it. I don’t THINK they would, but you can never be sure.

       
  4. Gerald

    December 21, 2011 at 1:51 am

    When our first child came, we already had a cat. I told my wife that I would clean the litter box, if she would change all the diapers. Even with two kids (the second two years later), the diaper work lasted a brief time. The cat lived 18 years, and I was responsible for the litter box! Bad agreement.

     
    • Melissa

      December 21, 2011 at 9:52 am

      Very bad choice, Gerald! What is it about you men, thinking that dealing with cats’ byproducts is less revolting than dealing with children’s byproducts? Based on my current sample, I would take the children every time.

       
  5. Justine

    December 23, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    LOL! Love this post and the comments. I do tend to agree with Fraser that a fresh litter is too smelly to clean, but then I too had the litter tray in a high traffic human area so had no choice most of the time. I was lucky Aslan had the outdoor option as well so only used the tray as a last resort – mostly if it was raining. Or the tray was freshly clean. I think he would squeeze out a poo just to christen that. Good luck with roster. I don’t doubt it is a thing of beauty:)

     

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