Shoes – parte deux

03 May

I’m feeling a little shoe love over in the comments on my last post. Thank you to everyone who has shared their shoe stories 🙂

Until about five years ago, I had almost no shoes. My feet are broad and hard to fit, and all the shoes they made in my size were made for nannas who liked bowling. Or The Queen, who may not have broad and hard-to-fit feet but who likes the kind of shoe that is made for them. Beige with buckles is really not my thing – although apparently just about everything else is.

(Having typed that, I Googled “shoes beige buckles” to look at the images. And there are no Nanna-shoes there! Even when I added “Grandma” on the end, I still didn’t see the sort I was thinking of. “Old lady shoes” works, though.)

And – well – then I discovered that there were a couple of local shoe shops that sold shoes in my size! PRETTY shoes in my size!

And along the way, I may have got a little carried away.

Casual, Rubber-soled Flat, dressy Heels Boots Sandals
White 1 1
Pink. Or Purple.
1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1
Beige. Or Brown. Or Taupe.
1 1 2 1
Black. Or Grey. 2 2 4 2
Navy blue.
1 1

The really awesome thing about that matrix? Is that I have something in EVERY COLUMN for pink or purple (and I only have one pair of purple shoes). And I also have a pair of pink fluffy slippers, as of Wednesday night.

And oh phew. Because I mis-counted when I scrawled this matrix on the tram, and I thought I had 31 pairs of shoes. And then I found one I’d missed and I was a little embarassed, thinking I had more than enough shoes to wear a different pair every day of the month. And Fraser was giving me not a little grief about it. But I don’t.

Also, many of my shoes come with AWESOME STORIES. Like:

  • The $350+ pair I got OMG FOR FREE. Because they were on sale at $49 and I had a $50 off voucher and thought I would be cheeky and ask if I could use it and the woman said ONLY FOR ONE PAIR so of course I went and bought another pair for $49. Because, $350 shoes! For $49! And for free! That was $700 of shoes for $49! Even better than $350 of shoes for free, apparently.
  • And the boots that are not Yuck after all. Even though the sales woman kept telling me they were. Eventually I realised that she just had a very thick accent and was trying to tell me they were made of YAK. They are furry on the inside and when I wear them, I speak to them with a thick central European accent.
  • And the fuchsia snakeskin patent leather shoes which are just amazing because FUCHSIA. And SNAKESKIN. and PATENT. I’m on my second pair and they were the last pair left in that style and they were IN MY SIZE AND REDUCED TO $49. Which is apparently my Magic Shoe-Shopping Price.
  • And the grey suede boots that are so awesome that a woman felt me up in Kmart the one and only time I wore them. There is no more to this story. It was surreal. She complimented me on my shoes then grabbed my bum. (They are actually the aforementioned FREE PAIR which has two stories about it. I can DINE OUT ON THESE SHOES.)

It’s time to accept that I have a shoe problem.

I noticed last week that my go-to pair of slate grey work shoes is looking a bit ratty. It must be time for a replacement.


Posted by on May 3, 2012 in be happy, shopping


4 responses to “Shoes – parte deux

  1. Fraser

    May 3, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    “…the one and only time I wore them” ??? All my footwear is loved and worn until they fall to bits and then still usually worn.

    • Melissa

      May 3, 2012 at 6:56 pm

      So you want me to wear the shoes that caused a complete stranger to feel me up in public? Noted 🙂

      The real confession is the brown suede, Louis-heeled boots that I bought in early 2009. We went to Germany that year and they were never worn. And then I forgot about them. Still in box, brand new. And still gorgeous.


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