For those who do not follow my every word on Twitter: I have news. Not great news either.

After she’d been sick (lethargic and achy and generally blah) for a week, I took the Bigster to our family doctor yesterday.

I have two words for you: Glandular Fever. Or, for those in the US, I have one. Mono. Suspected, at least. She had blood tests done yesterday.

And this is where Fraser’s and my reactions diverge.

Because this was my reaction:

• OMG
• Glandular Fever!
• Kissing jokes!
• GLANDULAR FEVER!
• OMG!
• Crap.
• HA! KISSING JOKES!
• Who do I need to notify?
• When will we get blood test results? Will they even tell us anything?
• Is she contagious? (NO)
• Need to think about work schedules if she does have it. Can’t just leave her home all the time.
• Ring school to notify that she won’t be back until AT LEAST the end of next week.
• Tweet to notify THE WORLD.
• Ring Fraser to tell him.
• Think of some more kissing jokes. Explain why she is going to have to get used to them EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE VILE AND DISGUSTING AND OMG MUM SO INAPPROPRIATE.
• Look up Glandular Fever on Better Health Channel. It’s fairly benign. Give it to her to read.
• Go to school so she can pick up the textbooks from her locker.
• Go to Kmart so she can buy some books even though she can’t concentrate to read them.
• Go to Safeway and tell her to pick ANYTHING ANYTHING SHE LIKES to eat. She chooses, among other things, chocolate-coated popping candy. I buy it.
• Text work to warn them that I might be around less in the next weeks and certainly next week.
• Get her to ring my mum. Listen to her trying to reassure her grandmother.

And here is Fraser’s:

• Agree to work from home one day next week.
• We shouldn’t talk about anything beyond that because we don’t have final results.

There is a balance there somewhere.