I downloaded The Sims Freeplay for my iPad a few months back. I missed the whole Sims phenomenon when it was first released, for good reason as it turns out. These days, Otto “shares” the game with me.
Here are some things I have learned:
- I have great difficulty intentionally getting my sims to the point of wetting themselves.
- Otto, however, does not.
- To the point where, if I have a couple living in the same house, I usually build two toilets.
- Otto loves to spend both types of in-game currency. I kinda have to threaten her to keep her from doing it.
- The coolest people work nights.
- No matter how good your oven is, it is always going to take 6 hours to bake gingerbread.
- If my sims go to the toilet, I have to get them to wash their hands afterwards. Even if they are not registering as dirty.
- Ditto before and after changing the baby’s nappy.
- Speaking of which, there is a very small window of opportunity between sleep and poop.
- Actually scratch that last one. I knew that already.
- They also wash hands before eating and after gardening.
- My brain is OMG SO SUCKABLE. OK – I knew that already too. I must never buy this game for the PC or I would never do anything else.
- Sims can do baking without getting full. I wish I knew what they do with all the cookie dough that they should be eating.
- People with expensive beds need less sleep.
- Dogs like to dig.
- Talking to a dog is as good as talking to a person.
- And the true measure of quality of life is how good a shower you have. And whether you have a pink bookshelf.