My friend Brunhilda* recently bought a house somewhere North of here. She hasn’t moved in yet, but she’s been checking out the property.
(*Names changed to protect the innocent.)
And it turns out that there is a set of traffic lights in the roof cavity.
If that wasn’t interesting enough, the set of traffic lights is apparently too big to get OUT of the roof cavity through the hatch.
The guy she is buying from can’t remember how they got up there.
So there has been much discussion about the traffic lights and the other stuff in the house etc etc etc but my mind got stuck at OMG TRAFFIC LIGHTS HOW COOL IS THAT! MOST AWESOME CHATTEL EVER!
Because if the house were local, I would generously offer to take the traffic lights off her hands.
I thought that I would offer them to Otto’s school. So they could have their very own European Right-hand drive Traffic School.
But then I realised that I would probably keep them for myself. And put them at my front door and not let people into the house unless the lights were green. That would keep me amused for at least a week.
And make an Ampelmann cutout so I could have different dudes on my “Go” sign. OMG that would be awesome.
Also, I could Inspect my traffic lights with my Inspection Camera, to make sure they were working. In case there was any doubt.
And so I was sad, because the traffic lights were not somewhere I could get to with any ease (although Fraser did drive to Sydney just to collect a carload of games last year – so maybe it would not be so unreasonable for me to go up to lever off a friend’s roof and steal a set of traffic lights? Maybe?)
And then I discovered that you can buy your very own traffic lights at really quite a reasonable price. And I was momentarily quite excited until ANOTHER old friend spoke to me very sternly and said
Melissa, no! You have a Masters to pay for – no traffic lights for you!
Which really has got to be the best thing anyone has said to me for days.