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Category Archives: funnies

Do not say things like that when I am DRIVING please…

We went out with M on Sunday, which was fab. Our first stop was the Industriemuseum in Oberhausen. I am not doing travelogue here, don’t worry, this is Necessary Background.

You see, Fraser accidentally selected the wrong street from Tomsk the SatNav. It was the right town (fortunately), but it  was about six minutes’ drive away from where we wanted to be.

He said something about fat fingers, and I drove on.

Biggie then added words to the effect of, “we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for dad’s inexperienced fingers.”

Four hours later, she was still asking why all three adults immediately collapsed into helpless gales of laughter.

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Posted by on August 25, 2009 in children, funnies, travel

 

A new Series …

Dear friends, I am proud to present

Photographs of Vending Machines in Public Toilets.

(a girl has to have a hobby)

Our first candidate is from the Ladies’ public toilets at Frankfurt Hauptbahnhof (main train station). You have to pay 70c to get in here.

But once you are in, what fun you can have for a mere 4 Euros. Here’s a close-up of that machine:

More to follow in this exciting series.

 
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Posted by on July 30, 2009 in funnies, travel

 

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Writing French soap operas

So, just as I was about ready to give up, tonight’s French class was lots of fun. We did lots of talking, and we even got to write a little story: the text in the book was a one-sided phone conversation which Cedric was having with Nathalie.

We couldn’t hear Nathalie’s part, so we got to fill it in. Here’s what my partner and I came up with…

Cédric : Allô !

Nathalie : Allô Cedric ! C’est moi !

Cédric : Qui ?

Nathalie : C’est Nathalie !

Cédric : Nathalie ! Je rêve ou quoi !

Nathalie : Non, tu ne rêves pas. J’y suis.

Cédric : Ça fait combien de temps qu’on ne s’est pas vus ?

Nathalie : Environs 3 ans?

Cédric : C’est ça, trois ans.

Nathalie : C’est encore le même. C’est le portable de SPEN n’est-ce pas ?

Cédric : Oui, je travaille toujours á la SPEN

Nathalie : Tu cherches une autre travail ? (Note, this is wrong : should be Tu aimes ton travail ? or similar)

Cédric : Non, j’en ai assez.

Nathalie : Et l’entreprise, il ne va pas bien ?

Cédric : Si, l’entreprise marche bien. On est satisfait.

Nathalie : Mais tu n’est pas heureux…

Cédric : Je suis déçu par mes collègues. Et toi, comment ça va avec Michel ?

Nathalie : Nous nous sommes mariés, mais il y a 2 ans il est mort.

Cédric : Ah, dommage, il était sympa Michel.

Nathalie : Il a était une accident à la piscine à sa maison de vacance.

Cédric : Alors tant pis pour lui et tant mieux pour le suivant.

Nathalie : Et toi ? Est-ce que tu veux succéder à lui ?

Cédric : Oui, pourquoi pas ?

Nathalie : Tu est occupée le week-end prochain ?

Cédric : Non, le week-end prochain, j’ai quatre jours de congé et je n’ai rien prévu.

Nathalie : J’ai une maison à la campaigne. Je l’ai hérité de Michel.

Cédric : Elle est où cette maison ?

Nathalie : C’est le château de Reims, en Champagne.

Cédric : Formidable !

Nathalie : Il n’y a pas beaucoup de choses à faire, là.

Cédric : Non, ça ne fait rien. On pourra se raconter nos souvenirs.

Nathalie : Je t’attends avec impatience.

Cédric : D’accord, ça me fera plaisir de te revoir.

Nathalie : À le week-end prochain, chér Cédric.

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2009 in french, funnies

 

Crying with laughter

Caution: May not be safe for work

This guy will never be able to show his face again.

 
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Posted by on August 18, 2008 in funnies

 

Book shopping

One of the delightful things I bought today is a book to give my sister-in-law, who will be putting the four of us up this weekend.

It attracted my eye because of the title – “Porn for Women” (what can I say …) – but captured my attention because the front cover photograph was of a man with a vacuum cleaner.

Inside, the photos are of reasonably attractive but by no means swoony men, mostly fully dressed, doing household chores, with quotes like

  • Ooh, look, the NFL Playoffs are today. I bet we’ll have no trouble parking at the crafts fair.
  • I don’t have to have a reason to bring you flowers.
  • God, that’s so interesting. Tell me more.
  • Well, I can’t offer you any solutions, but I am a good listener.
  • Want to snuggle?

And, my personal favourite:

  • I know. Let’s take you shoe shopping!

Given the gifts my sister-in-law has bought for me in the past, I am pretty confident that she will appreciate this one 🙂

 
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Posted by on July 7, 2008 in be happy, funnies, shopping

 

Quote du jour

“M is big and not flat”

Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on May 19, 2008 in funnies, games

 

Last indelicate post

… I promise …

(well, I promise to try, anyway)

I think I mentioned a while ago that I was getting an IUD fitted, more for health reasons than for contraception although that is a convenient side benefit.

I had to collect it from the hospital pharmacy on my way in yesterday.

It came in the most enormous package – I’d estimate about 40cm x 12 cm x 2.5 cm. Although the IUD itself is teeny tiny (I think about 7.5cm or so?)

Anyway, it gave rise to inappropriate giggles when I commented, quite accidentally:

OMG look at the enormous box they put that IUD in.

Ooops.

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2008 in funnies, health