Category Archives: not your earth logic

It’s all in the name

We are now a 4-iPod house.

The main one, Fraser and I bought together, when we first dipped our toes into the world of iPod. It is called iTinkerbell.

Then I got sick of carrying iTink, and bought a little (first generation) Nano to carry. And it is called, simply, iLissa.

So today I picked up an iPod Touch (gift! OMG! *smoochies*) and a very pink Nano, to round us up to four. They are called, quote appropriately, iTouchLissa (blush) and iPinkThereforeiAm

I have NEVER been one to name cars. So it surprises me how much joy I get in finding the very perfectest name for these items.

Also? OMG you can play LEMONADE TYCOON on iTouchLissa. I am sure there are many other wonderful apps, but I am enjoying remembering just how banananas it drove me.


Posted by on April 30, 2009 in be happy, not your earth logic


You know this isn’t going anywhere

I had one of Those conversations with the Bigster.

Fraser tells me that it’s the sort of thing you can’t write about on The Internet (at least, not in any detail).

Suffice it to say … when your 10-year-old child asks what something is for, and the answer is, “birth control”?

My advice is: Lie.

Shame I didn’t think to follow it, isn’t it.

“They’re special greased trick balloons for sticking to the walls withOUT static electricity.”

“It’s a very small yarmulke. Made of plastic.”

“They’re vitamin tablets”

“It’s a Fun Cyborg Attachment, so I set off metal detectors at airports”

“It’s  a special transmitter to open the new door at work.”


Hot, water. With a comma. Not hot water, because that doesn’t bear thinking about today.

I think I have mentioned the heat once or twice.

Yesterday was  the third hottest day on record, in Melbourne.

Last night was the third hottest night on record, in Melbourne.

Come with me on a journey. We are going to travel in time, back to the year 2003. Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on January 30, 2009 in house, not your earth logic





I’m terribly sorry, but I just can’t.

Not today.

It’s just not possible.


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Posted by on June 27, 2008 in not your earth logic



Just as in my other blog I have a tag “unfit-to-be-a-mother”, I think I need an “omgIamTotallyTwelve” tag for this blog.




Posted by on June 11, 2008 in grand plans, not your earth logic


*bounce* *twitch* *bounce*

Settlement on the old house is in 44 minutes.

Regular readers of this blog may occasionally feel some empathy with my husband. Especially when I am – well – excited about something.

melissa: how do you feel?
fraser: Fine, why? Do you mean waiting for the mythical money? 🙂
melissa: yes
should I call Stuart about the keys?
fraser: I don’t expect to see any of it today, or probably even tomorrow.
melissa: yeah
fraser: I left the keys in the old house
melissa: even the one that was on my keyring?
fraser: Ah possibly not that one since I didn’t know about it. It is still mine for another 90 minutes, you could drop it off (not that I expect that you have the time)
melissa: hee
I have to show you this doc I have been working on, tonight
it was soooooooooooooooooooooo bad
I think I made two different friends cry at various times during the night
fraser: There’s two door keys, a bunch of window keys, the oven and burglar alarm manual and some spare kitchen cupboard handles in one of the kitchen cupboards
melissa: omg less than an hour
am I booking your ticket as well?
fraser: No, more than an hour. Is booked for 11:30
melissa: 11am
fraser: 11:30 I believe
melissa: 500 bucks says 11am
fraser: 1000 bucks says we don’t see any bucks today
At any time
melissa: we should see it as uncleared funds though
fraser: If you got 11 from Stewart I am in the money
He had the date wrong the first time
melissa: I have 11 from Partricia and Stuart
fraser: Oh yes, Patricia said 11
melissa: then again that could mean 4 😉
fraser: Indeed it could
melissa: omg
hey you know what we WILL see today
is the closure of the old house mortgage
fraser: Should yes
melissa: so that is money
so maybe I should take the thousand bucks
I got paid by [work]. I am tempted to go book my flights RIGHT NOW THIS MORNING
while I get the key cut
then I have 5 days to pay anyway
fraser: Or you could pay your back pay…
melissa: omg I totally could
fraser: and then book your ticket.
melissa: I could BOOK. MY. FLIGHTS.
Do you wnat me to book yours too?
fraser: I presume you know my dates? I don’t
melissa: lol
fraser: Dream on!
melissa: I can work out your dates
the con starts wednesdya 19th
Fraser gmail: Tick, tick, tick…
melissa: you want to go to anywhere before? You were talking disneyland with Anna but now she may not be interested
lol nice message
fraser: Too busy instead…
melissa: well quite
I am trying to work out when you should fly over. You want to get into DFW on Wednesday 19th for setup
So do you want to fly over on Sat 15th and have a few days in LA first? Or somewhere else?
and do you want to fly straight home again on the Monday 24th after the con?
and what name is on your passport
and why are you ignoring me?
<< jumps up and down
You cannot call because Fraser gmail is using chat in Gmail or another chat program other than Google Talk.
fraser: Cos I am working!
melissa: so I should not book your ticket today then
when I book mine
booking my ticket
fraser: Correct
fraser: Just so long as no credit card is involved
Still 33,623.93 owing on the old house
melissa: the 93 cents are a killer



More reasons to love Biggie’s Recorder teacher:

(random chat about sleepwalking)

Me: I talk in my sleep.

Recorder teacher: That could be dangerous.

Me (thinks): OMG I love you!

Fraser maintains that it typically takes 3 questions to establish whether I am awake or not. I’m not so sure, after Sunday (I was napping).

Fraser: Who is this person who is texting you?

Me: Mumble

Fraser: Huh?

Me: Mumble (something), Reeds, Police.

All that I remember is that I was quite angry that he kept asking me about this when I was giving a clear and obvious answer.

Possibly another Agricola hallucination?

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Posted by on April 28, 2008 in games, not your earth logic


Your tax system != my tax system

I do not know what a “stimulus payment” really is.

Nor do I want to.

It is *so much better* in my mind.

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Posted by on April 5, 2008 in not your earth logic



There is something wrong with my nose.

No, I do not mean that its stunning beauty has been marred in any way, shape or form … but something has got into it.

You know when you are eating and someone starts talking about Richard the Third and you giggle and accidentally inhale the crumbs? or does that only happen to me? Well, it feels like that.

Anyway. As of this morning, I seem to have something in my nose. Something annoying, something occasionally painful.

I even went to the doctor to get it checked out, it was annoying me so much, but she couldn’t see anything. Meanwhile, I am blowing my nose and occasionally rubbing my cheek and forehead in the hope that THE HORROR WILL STOP. Also kind of stressing to various people that I do not put things up my nose willingly or for recreational purposes so whatever it is that is in there HAS NO BUSINESS BEING THERE.

Tonight, it seems to have moved from my right nostril/sinus cavity to my left nostril. My latest theory? It’s Alive!

That’s right folks. Just another day or two and something unutterably disgusting (and also slime-covered) will come crawling out of my nose.

OMG, maybe it is Baby Spiders? Hundreds of snot-covered Baby Spiders? They might come pouring out while I am at Games on Saturday. I wonder whether it is safe to put A WHOLE ROW OF CANS OF FLY SPRAY up your nose just in case.

The doctor’s theory was that I am probably getting a cold.

I almost prefer the Baby Spiders.

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Posted by on April 4, 2008 in health, not your earth logic



A friend told me the other day that a mutual friend/acquaintance had passed an interesting comment on me. He described me as “very down to earth and practical”


Gentlemen, take note. “Down to earth and practical” does not rate high on the list of Ways I want to be Thought Of.

One of my great frustrations is the extent to which I am forced to be practical, to make sure that the things that need to be done get done. In fact, I bitterly resent that this leaves little time for whimsy and fun.

I was really quite upset about it, even though I know he didn’t mean it at all unkindly.

Then I reminded myself that being upset doesn’t achieve anything, pulled my head in, and attacked my To-Do list.

An aside. Last week, I created a new tag – not your earth logic. It has since occurred to me that that could potentially be applied to 90% or more of the posts I make here. Ooops.


Posted by on March 19, 2008 in not your earth logic, rant